Everybody Stims

The other day, while watching Dan interact with a group of schoolmates on a basketball court,  someone said to me: "It's so great how those kids are so good to him." It was said in kindness but I felt like I'd been slapped. Why is it so great? Why should we be thankful for someone being "good" to him? She spoke as if he were a cranky, distant great-uncle that we bring a poundcake to in the nursing home once a year. Like it was a favor to be good to him. I gave a wide, frozen smile and nodded, unable to speak as she beamed at me beatifically. Should I be feeling lucky that he's not treated like an outsider? Stoned in the village square? Just let me know please, because if so, I'm having difficulty with social rules. I will probably need a teensy minute to regroup and maybe a social story for someone to coach me through this if this is the case. It's so great, but wait, those kids don't get props for being great to the other kids on tha...

I wrote this at the beginning of the school year in 2010. The Special Ed Mother's Prayer: Please, oh please let this be a good year for him. Please let his teacher's classroom be structured, but not rigidly so, Please let her have patience and humor, but be firm enough to set boundaries. Please let her have the knowledge and experience that different is not wrong, That behaviors are not meant to be disrespectful, That hints and subtleties are not ignored, but rather missed And that she has a little boy with a very tender heart who wants to please. Please help her communicate with me in ways that are constructive, That are helpful and kind, That are seeking answers, and not blame And that are open to our support and adaptations. Please let the other kids realize that awkwardness is not rude, and a loyal friend lies inside. And please, don't let others sell him short, for he is truly intelligent and a valuable teacher himself. Please let my son have a good...